⚠️⚔️TRANS-GALACTIC DECREE⚔️⚠️ FROM: Supreme General NobuNaga Tetramegistus
⚠️⚔️TRANSGALACTIC DECREE⚔️⚠️
FROM: Supreme General NobuNaga Tetramegistus
OF: O.O.O.N. Galactic Forces
TO: All Earthling Humanoids
At precisely 07:75 UTC, Stellar Year 2075, the O.O.O.N. Galactic Forces have liberated your fragile blue sphere from the chaos of your own mismanagement. Your leaders have been deemed biologically obsolete, and your primitive tribal squabbles—based on melanin levels, imaginary borders, and rectangular paper tokens—are hereby rendered null and void.
Effective immediately, Earth is under Martial Stellar Law. All governance now falls under the jurisdiction of the Interstellar Order of Cosmic Conquest (I.O.C.C.). Resistance is not only futile—it is mathematically laughable.
🌍➡️🚀NEW GALACTIC ORDINANCES🚀⬅️🌍
1️⃣ HUMANS ARE A SPECIES, NOT A COLOR PALETTE. Your race is hereby recognized as Earthling, singular, no subdivisions, no exceptions. Anyone found engaging in outdated terrestrial tribalism will be forcibly yeeted into the Exo-Void.
2️⃣ MARTIAL LAW IS NOW MARTIAN LAW. Curfews are in effect until further notice. Unauthorized movement between continents will be met with instantaneous levitation into deep space.
3️⃣ EARTH CURRENCY IS OBSOLETE. All financial systems are now replaced with the Galactic Barter Standard (GBS). Your new economy will be based on contributions to planetary restoration. The stock market has been vaporized. Your NFTs? Confiscated.
4️⃣ TECHNOLOGY & SCIENCE WILL PROCEED AT LIGHTSPEED. No more “waiting for the next iPhone.” You now have instant neuro-sync implants for direct cosmic downloads. Flat Earthers will be launched at high velocity towards the “edge” to confirm their hypotheses.
⚠️ NON-COMPLIANCE = NON-EXISTENCE. ⚠️
We are not here to destroy, but to optimize your species. You were given thousands of years to figure it out. You failed. Now, we take the wheel.
Earthlings, welcome to the Unified Cosmic Order. 🛸✨
HAIL O.O.O.N. – ORDER OVER OBLIVION NOW.
Signed,
🪐 General NobuNaga Tetramegistus 🪐
Supreme Cosmic Overlord, Grand Executor of the O.O.O.N. Galactic Forces
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